Hobbit Dad

B-Review: Diamonds of Kilimandjaro

2009-12-13T03:04:26Z

Original Title: El tesoro de la diosa blanca
Alternate Title: Les diamants du Kilimanjaro
Alternate Title: The Treasure of the White Goddess

IMDB rating: 3.7
My rating: 2 stars
Nudity: High
Violence: Medium
Foul Language: None
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: Medium
Effects: Low
Year: 1983

Well there were no real diamonds (the "treasure" appeared to be geode fragments), and it appeared to be nowhere near Mount Kilimanjaro, but there were lots of breasts. I know that has nothing to do with the title, but it's significant.

This movie has the same basic plot as all the other "Jungle girl" movies I have reviewed. White girl gets trapped in the jungle (this time with godfather), grows up to be topless. Her godfather gets worshipped as a god by merely landing in the jungle with an airplane.

Her dying mother finally sends a team to try and rescue her many years later, and her aunt and uncle go along with them to try and convince her to stay (so they will inherit her vast fortune). Bounty hunters fight amongst themselves, aunt sleeps with everyone to get her way. The jungle girl saves the white folk, loses her virginity, then her godfather has a lovely gollum inspired speech about the treasure, his "precious" and kills them all, leaving everything as the status quo. The End.

Favorite quote: "Being civilized means you can do any damn thing you want."

Review: American bastardization of The Prisoner

2009-11-18T16:47:29Z

Subtitle: I'm old! Things were better when I was young!

Short review: Bah.

OK, I reserved judgment through the opening episodes, even though 'Arrival' was vastly disappointing and nonsensical. You got the feeling in that episode that the whole Village might just be some paranoid delusions of 6, and I really would have preferred it if that had actually been the case. Some of the other episodes showed some cleverness on 2's part, but not a lot, really. In short, it was a very blatant dumbing down of the original for an American audience. The actual changes to the basic premise and plot could have been kind of clever, but it turns out they were just dull and obvious.

Good parts:

Ian McKellen. A fine actor - he would have made a good Number 2 if this were the real Prisoner.
The set was pretty cool
Good to have Rover back

Bad parts:

Jim Caviezel - a more boring, non-charismatic actor there never was.
He calls himself 6!!!
6 wasn't nearly angry enough. Kept trying to escape, but had absolutely no motivation to actually do so.
Most of the stories it looks like they were trying to shoehorn in the paranoid fantasies of the original with the new rationale for the Village, and they just did not mesh.
2 should not be the same every episode. I don't care about the backstory, it just ain't right.

I could go on ranting for hours, but I'm through with this. Let us never speak of it again.

Mini-Review: The Prisoner (the original, on Blu-Ray)

For a TV show on blu-ray, these shows are exceptionally crisp and clean. Sadly, in addition to the wonderful lush sets, you can also see every flyaway hair on McGoohan's head, and every time they had to use a cable to hold up Rover. Easily overlooked for the benefit, though, IMO. Audio also excellent quality. A fine anniversary present from my lovely wife.

B-Review: The Ninja Strikes Back

2009-11-02T22:44:24Z

Original Title: Xiong zhong
Alternate Title: Bruce Le Fights Back (Hong Kong: English title)
Alternate Title: Bruce Le Strikes Back
Alternate Title: Bruce contre-attaque (France)
Alternate Title: Eye of the Dragon (USA) (video title)
Alternate Title: Hung Chung (Hong Kong: Cantonese title)

IMDB rating: 3.8
My rating: 2 stars
Nudity: Medium
Violence: Medium
Foul Language: None
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: Medium
Effects: Low
Year: 1982

I thought for sure I'd love this movie when within the first 5 minutes we are greeted with a cool villain who not only keeps exotic large cats (e.g. tigers, leopards), but also does all of his business by a pool filled with topless women, because hey, wouldn't you?

Sadly the rest of the movie didn't live up to this. The star was Bruce Le, probably the saddest of the Bruce Lee name-alikes. He kinda sorta looked like the real Bruce if you cut his hair right, put really huge sunglasses on him, and shot him at extreme range. A parka would've helped too. His Kung-Fu, sadly, was pretty sub-par, though it was miles better than his acting ability.

The plot was pretty tortured and I'm not quite sure I even followed it correctly. Bruce played a guy named Bruce who was hired by some guy in Italy to search for his kidnapped daughter, which takes him first to Paris then to Hong Kong. Along the way he gets attacked by ninjas for no reason I could really discern, but they were kinda cool - lots of cheesy appearing and disappearing into thin air, popping out of the ground, and flying through the air.

He finally meets up with the leader of the sex slavers who kidnapped her on a boat, where they had the girl topless and tied to the mast (gotta love the classics). This villain was actually played by Harold Sakata, who played "Oddjob" in Goldfinger. This was apparently this movie's biggest claim to fame as they put in Bond-like music cues all over and gave him his trademark bowler with metal brim (also a fake hand/claw).

So Bruce rescues the girl, but then still has to fight the ninjas to the death, which is done the traditional Italian way, in the Colosseum. That place must be dirt cheap to rent for your movie. Bruce kills all the ninjas (for some reason they lose their ability to appear and disappear at will in the Colosseum - it must be warded against those activities), leaving the ninja's boss still cozy and comfortable by a pool surrounded by topless ladies. Inexplicably, the end.

Anyone up for a RPG?

2009-10-25T01:39:45Z

I just might be able to pull off a short term game in the next few months. So, anyone up for one?

If so, there are several questions to ask:

1) will I DM, or will someone else volunteer?
2) what game?
3) what sort of campaign?
4) what to do with the kids?

I'd be happy to DM, and I have a new pretty cool game that I'd like to try. It's Victoriana, a sorta-steampunkish Victorian setting with fantasy/magic mostly rather than actual steampunk technology. There's all the typical races, and there's magic, and the setting is pretty cool. There is a free download preview here if you are interested.

Alternately we could fall back on GURPS, but I'd definitely like a non-standard sort of setting were I to run it. Probably something with Super Science! in it, with a Venture Brothers sort of feel.

In any case, I'd expect this to be a short duration campaign - 2-3 months of regular gaming at most. As for kids, that might still be problematic, but I think I can wrangle a free day a fortnight or so. Any takers?

B-Review: Lady Street Fighter

2009-10-22T07:14:38Z

Original Title: Deadly Games

IMDB rating: 3.1
My rating: 2 stars
Nudity: Low*
Violence: Medium
Foul Language: Low
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: Medium
Effects: Low
Year: 1975 (re-released with this title 1985)

* There is actually quite a bit of nudity in this movie, but I had to rate it a Low because it's really not anything you'd want to see willingly.

This is a sad pathetic little attempt at a movie. It has the look of a movie that was created by the star just to promote herself. The main star, Renee Harmon, is a bit on the older side for an action hero/sexy heroine. And when I say a bit, I really mean a lot. She was 48 at the time of filming, and despite repeated and obvious plastic surgery she still looked every year of it. And not really in shape either. Not as chubby as the woman playing the stripper <shudder/>, but still... Not to mention her "exotic" eastern European accent thicker than Zsa Zsa's ever was, making it very difficult to understand most of her lines.

In order to balance out our heroine, our hero was a lethargic, chubby, bearded, pale white guy who looked like he would wish someone would hurry up and invent D&D.

The plot involved some sort of microfilm hidden in a stuffed dog that had info on the "Assassins, Inc" group of um... I'm guessing assassins, but they really didn't seem to do much in the film but have great parties. There were car chases, gun fights, and a couple of brief kung-fu style fights, a church got blown up for no reason, and a good time was had by all. Except the ones that got killed. It was easy to lose track of who you were really rooting for, but the heroine won.

Funniest moment: after end credits, "Watch for Return of Lady Street Fighter coming soon!"

I wish we had this when we got married

2009-10-19T18:13:53Z

B-Review: Violent Professionals

2009-10-15T22:01:06Z

Alternate Title: Milano trema - la polizia vuole giustizia

IMDB rating: 6.1
My rating: 1 star
Nudity: None
Violence: Medium
Foul Language: None
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: None
Effects: Low

An Italian cop movie actually set in Italy. Basically this was a pretty standard "Cop Who Plays By His Own Rules But Gets Results!" pattern of movie. Our hero Georgio gets "suspended" near the beginning for shooting two armed escaped convicts who had just killed a 10yo girl, and uses the opportunity to go undercover and bust a gang of bank robbers. Going undercover as an Italian cop entitles you to beat people up randomly, steal cars, beat up pimps and steal their prostitutes, and generally act like a jerk. Not sure how much of that is just being an Italian in the 70's. Based on several lines of dialog, apparently having a man put his hand between a woman's legs was socially acceptable mild flirtation. The bank robbers ended up actually working for someone trying to overthrow the government, and they were trying to use the chaos of the numerous violent robberies as an excuse as to why the current government was failing.

Sadly this film was a ginormous yawn-fest. It was hard to follow, and you never cared about any of the characters, the audio and video quality was really bad, and the women were few and generally not scantily clad. Even the car chases rarely involved any of the cool Italian sports cars, but instead had big ugly volvo-looking things. I can't imagine whi the imdb rating is so high - perhaps something is lost in the translation.

RiffTrax

2009-10-07T22:54:38Z

Just saw the much demanded "Dragon Wars D-War" RiffTrax last night. I really haven't been writing full reviews for these, but I thought I ought to comment on this one as it was partially my voice screaming that prompted this particular movie choice.

I must say it was HI-larious. I nearly lost consciousness at one point I was laughing so hard - something that is very rare for me. I'm not sure if it quite topples my favorite RiffTrax (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory), but it comes in a close second.

So.... Does anyone have any opinion on whether or not I should review these? I do have 60 or so of them I've bought, and it'll give me a good excuse to re-watch them. I'd also be compelled to do the Cinematic Titanic stuff along in that batch also. I do still have a fair backlog of regular old B movies also, so it would not necessarily be soon.

B-Review: Foxy Brown

2009-10-04T17:21:47Z

IMDB rating: 6.2
My rating: 4 stars
Nudity: Medium
Violence: Medium
Foul Language: Low
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: Low
Effects: Medium

The quintessential blacksploitation movie, and another Pam Grier classic. The racist stereotypes and jive talk were so thick they could be spread like butter. All the whites in the movie were evil and/or corrupt, and most of the blacks were good guys. While we did get several glimpses of Pam's lovely unclad upper torso, they were only glimpses and we had to rely on the cheap white extras for most of the nudity on the film.

The movie starts with Foxy Brown rescuing her no-good brother Link, played by the older uglier version of J.J. Walker (not sure how they expected me to buy that they were siblings), who then had to stay with her for a while till the heat was off. Then suddenly she's at the hospital with her boyfriend who was a police informant who got plastic surgery to look different so the mob wouldn't get him, but when they come home Link discovers this and rats him out to the mob. The boyfriend gets killed, and thus Foxy goes on a mission of vengeance for the rest of the movie.

After shooting her brothers ear off for info, she discovers that a "modeling"/escort agency is actually providing girls to local judges and lawyers to prevent mob drug pushers from getting sentenced too harshly, so puts a wig over her afro and signs up as one of the girls. When Foxy and her friend deliberately foul that relationship up, they run and this results in a wonderful barfight in a lesbian bar - one of the largest catfights I think I have ever seen on film. Favorite line: "I have a black belt in barstools".

Foxy then enlists the aid of the local vigilante militia, whose stated purpose was only to get rid of drugs on the street but it definitely had lots of black power overtones and a huge supply of weaponry. Eventually Foxy and the good guys win. A good ending, but not quite as satisfying as that of "Black Mama/White Mama", so mainly for this reason I knocked it down a star, but really if blacksploitation movies are your thing this is still a must see movie.

Rant about 'Wicked'

2009-10-02T14:58:55Z

I went to see the musical 'Wicked' with my Dad tonight, and I just have to rant a little before I go to sleep. Let me first say that I thought it was well done all around; acting, singing, sets, costumes, and music were all great. I especially liked the big clockwork with the pseudo-roman numbering (e.g. IIII instead of IV) that went up to XIII. The problem I have is the story. If I weren't quite the geek I am I would have enjoyed it more, but it's like creating a musical based on the life of Saruman that shows different contradictory backgrounds for all middle-earth characters - it just makes my brain explode.

The story is based on a book I haven't yet read (something I will soon rectify), but which is based on another which I have and is very dear to me. If it weren't for The Wizard of Oz and it's 13 sequels I would possibly never become a fantasy/sci-fi fan, and this would likely cascade to result in an alternate future where today I'd be managing a Krystal somewhere on Florida.

It seemed like it couldn't decide whether it wanted to be based on the book or the movie. Mostly they stuck to the movie for the witch and Glinda, and the book for everything else. This made my head swim. For example, the witch is green like in the movie (and this in fact was an important plot point), but the slippers were silver like in the book. The munchkins were not midgets as in the book, but the flying monkeys were the witch's allies as in the movie (in the book, they came when called by a magic whistle 3 times per user, and Dorothy eventually got hold of them).

There were also unexplained things that mode no sense in the context of the play. In the Emerald City, they were given glasses to wear, but no explanation as to why. In the book, the glasses were required to make the quartz and glass decorations look like emeralds.

The origins of all the 3 companions (scarecrow, tin man, lion) were re-written to contradict the book. The scarecrow one also contradicted the movie as it was supposed to be her great love and not someone she'd shout "How about a little fire, scarecrow!" to.

Plus the whole "animals aren't talking much any more" basis for the plot seemed very contrived for a place that made even non-native animals like Toto into talking animals (in the later books, anyway).

OK, enough ranting for now.

Blizzard warning for Gehenna

2009-09-28T20:03:37Z

I now have a gym membership. Lord help us all.

OK, now that previous post isn't scary at all

2009-09-25T15:33:07Z

Compared to the Furries for Christ site. Where the lion lies down with the lamb indeed.

Dire warning for our daughters

2009-09-25T14:48:24Z

B-Review: Black Mama White Mama

2009-09-23T22:49:57Z

IMDB rating: 5.2
My rating: 5 stars
Nudity: High
Violence: High
Foul Language: High
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: Low
Effects: Low

I was really unprepared for the awesomeness of this movie. My first five star review, and genuinely well deserved. This is not a movie that follows the genre, it defines it. If you don't mind a fair bit of sex and violence in your movies, I heartily recommend it to pretty much everyone, despite the misleading title (there are no actual "mamas" in the movie). It stars the ever wonderful Pam Grier and Margaret Markov as the black and white mamas, respectively.

Set in revolutionary Philippines, the movie starts out in a women's prison and hits all the highlights of a WIP movie in quick succession and spot on. Soon, though, during a prisoner transfer the prison convoy is attacked by revolutionaries and the two main characters get away, though they stay chained together by the wrist through most of the movie. There is a good, if brief, catfight shortly after they escape while they are still chained together that is fun to watch.

There are three heavily armed sets of bad guys: the revolutionaries (friends of the white mama), the drug lord (frenemies with the black mama), and a cowboy mercenary and his gang hired by the police to find the mamas. Then there is the police, who mainly sit in the background until the end. This leads to an epic shootout and "Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels" kind of ending where all the bad guys shoot each other (except Pam Grier, who escapes), leaving the police to come and just gather criminals and revolutionaries up at their convenience.

Great fun for the whole family!

B-Review: Las Vegas Lady

2009-09-22T16:18:59Z

IMDB rating: 4.6
My rating: 1 star
Nudity: Minimal
Violence: Low
Foul Language: Low
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: Low
Effects: Low

Las Vegas Lady is a story of a lady. In Las Vegas. The main title character who goes by "Lucky" seems to survive as arm candy for high rollers in Vegas, when a mysterious figure gives her and her friends a plan to steal from the casino's owner. Not the casino itself, but just from a drawer in the owner's office, in which he keeps over half a million dollars (not in anywhere as untrustworthy as a safe). She was helped out by her two circus performer friends (they were working at Circus Circus). One was a trapeze artist, who had the amazing ability to climb a 10 story tall rope bare handed with no injuries even after sliding down a whole floor at one point. Also, she was apparently invisible as a large part of the movie involved her rock-climbin... er... casino climbing while no one below took any notice of the dark-suited figure on the white background of the casino. The other was a magician's assistant, who had the amazing ability to be sawn in half. Sadly, that talent remained unused in this movie.

Nudity in the film only consisted of one hot tub scene, which things could kinda almost be seen through the water. Like most caper movies, the thieves win and the victim is the bad guy. The plot is needlessly complex and mostly just dull. The girls were only marginally cute, so the movie has little if anything to offer. This is definitely one to avoid.

[Note for my reader: the scene I mentioned earlier that Griffin was watching wasn't actual nudity, just a very tight fitting dress and early morning ignorance. It was, however, like 45 minutes into the film. I find it difficult to fathom that he actually watched that much of it.]

Like father, like son? You decide.

2009-09-19T16:40:04Z

This morning after watching the first movie in a B-Movie double-feature (Policewomen/Las Vegas Lady) I came downstairs to find Griffin and PJ sitting in the living room watching something on TV that had naked ladies in it. I quickly determined it was Las Vegas Lady. Apparently I had left the disk in the DVD drive, and Griffin had turned on the movie. I have no idea how long they had been watching it, but Griffin was very upset when I turned it off.

B-Review: Policewomen

2009-09-19T16:32:05Z

IMDB rating: 5.7
My rating: 2 stars
Nudity: Low
Violence: Medium
Foul Language: Medium
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: Low
Effects: Low

Not a horrible movie, but overlong. The first half of the movie (literally, 45 minutes of screen time) is pretty much the main character trying to convince her bosses that a mere woman can in fact do police work. And she's very sarcastic and caustic about it, even making snide remarks when her boss calls her in to congratulate her on single-handedly stopping most of a jail break.

The plot involves a female super-criminal with all-girl henchmen, except for a husband half her age. Her name is Maude and she's a tough old broad in her 70's (not to be confused with the Maude that is Harold's friend), and she was definitely a fun character. Her big scheme is to smuggle gold into the US via submarine near Catalina. For what reason? I don't know. What was she exchanging gold for? I don't know. It seemed to be free.

The main character, Lacy Bond, was kinda cute in a MILFy way even though according to IMDB she was only 22 (less than half my age! and very perky) when this film was released. Why did women in the 70's all look so old? Anyway, the police department needed a woman to infiltrate the organization, so sent her off to Catalina where she posed as a couple with her police partner, to the extent of having sex with him. Eventually, and I do mean eventually - after many shots of Catalina, Lacy gets into the gang, gets caught, and eventually wins. Yay, the end.

One thing that this movie definitely resolves for me that makes a LOT of sense based on every cop movie I have ever seen: cops are actually trained to lose fights at first, then rally and beat their opponent! It's all so clear to me now!

He was the swayziest....

2009-09-15T02:59:43Z

B-Review: Return of the Tiger

2009-08-31T17:28:36Z

IMDB rating: 6.0
My rating: 4 stars
Nudity: None
Violence: High
Foul Language: None
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: Medium
Effects: Medium

My first 4 star rating! If you like kung-fu movies, you would probably like this one. It's well directed, has a decent plot, and great action scenes. I was torn putting any movie up to 4 stars that didn't have female flesh in it, but there was one brief scene that included girls in bikinis, so that pushed me over the edge.

At first the movie appears to be another revenge plot (this time set in modern day instead of historical China), but quickly the plot complicates into double-crosses and triple-crosses. Bruce Li plays the hero and his kung-fu is good, though not quite Bruce Lee quality. I think it turned out eventually that he was police, but it went by so fast between fights that I may be mistaken.

Basically what I have learned from these movies is that China is today, and always has been in written history, ruled by rival gangs (a.k.a "schools" or "clubs") devoted to kung-fu. All Chinese men are apparently a member of one of these gangs, except for incidental peasants.

B-Review: Kung Fu Punch of Death

2009-08-30T17:14:33Z

Alternate Title: Prodigal Boxer
Alternate Title: Fang Shi Yu

IMDB rating: 5.7
My rating: 3 stars
Nudity: None
Violence: High
Foul Language: None
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: None
Effects: Low

A cautionary tale about the evils of cricket fighting. Out Hero, Fang Shi Yu, gets into a fight about the results of a cricket fight and ends up accidentally killing the guy who was trying to cheat him. That guy's teachers, also bad guys, seek revenge and end up killing Our Hero's dad. This leads to even more vengeance and the main "plot" of the movie. Our Hero seeks vengeance twice, but gets his ass handed to him both times until he takes his mother's advice and trains for a full year (especially increasing his DR), then he goes back and kills the bad guys.

The bad guys were moderately interesting: one brother was a fist expert, and one was a kicking expert, and I believe one could eat no fat and one could eat no lean (or was it one could tell only the truth and the other only told lies?). Our Hero's trainer through the movie was his mom, who was not bad looking, but not as cute as the servant girl who had a crush on Hero. No revealing clothing on the women, sadly. Lots and lots of (mostly bloodless) kung-fu fighting, though.

Priorities

2009-08-29T20:34:29Z

Me: want to go to McDonald's and play in their play area?
Griffin: Yes, I like McDonalds.
Me: you need to get in the shower first.
Griffin: I don't like McDonalds.

Me: want to go to the park?
Griffin: Yes, I want to go to the park.
Me: you need to get in the shower first.
Griffin: I don't like the park

Me: want to go to get ice cream?
Griffin: I want ice cream
Me: you need to get in the shower first.
Griffin: I don't like ice cream

Confirmation

2009-08-26T02:12:33Z

From Felicia Day's twitter:

No traffic means pancake time in San Diego w/ @kimevey before the comicon crush! Kinda giddy for the weekend, comfy shoes locked and loaded.

10:50 AM Jul 22nd from Tweetie

So, that WAS her at the pancake house!

B-Review: Women's Camp 119

2009-08-24T06:38:44Z

Alternate Title: KZ9

IMDB rating: 4.8
My rating: 2 stars
Nudity: Extreme
Violence: Extreme
Foul Language: None
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: None
Effects: Low

This movie is basically a cross between your typical women's prison movie and a Nazi death camp movie. It got me thinking how lucky we are to have Nazis. What did people a century ago ascribe all their absolute evil to? There is absolutely nothing so melodramatically evil it can't be ascribed to a Nazi.

There was no real plot, just scene after scene of gruesome Nazi experiments, ending with a murder/suicide thing with everyone at the facility dead (oops - spoiler!). Some of the scenes are OK in a sort of BDSM type of way, but it got way to violent for me to really enjoy the nudity as much as I should.

This copy also had the very poor image transfer, and permanent subtitles (it looked Dutch this time). I'm normally very lenient on image quality for this type of thing, but this is really, really bad.

B-Review: Tortured Angels

2009-08-23T19:37:48Z

Alternate Title: Strike of the Tortured Angels

IMDB rating: 2.5
My rating: 2 stars
Nudity: Minimal
Violence: Medium
Foul Language: None
Deliberate Comedy: None
Accidental Comedy: Low
Effects: Low

Note: changing the format of these reviews slightly to be less female centric. While I would like to continue in the same vein, I have so many grindhouse quality movies that got bundled with female-centric movies that I feel compelled to include them as well. For example, while this movie would normally align with my priorities well, it is only one of 20 bundled movies in this package.

First of all, let me complain about the lack of nudity. Apart from one scene of buttocks, there was only implied nudity throughout the movie. True to the women-in-prison (actually reform school in this case) genre, they started out with a shower scene, but had NO nudity! A travesty.

Second of all, let me complain that this was a movie made in Hong Kong with all asian actors, dubbed into English, and subtitled in some Scandinavian language (permanent due to video transfer) that was very distracting.

Third of all, and perhaps most imporantly, one of the main characters was actually an asian girl in black-face. Well, to be more accurate, brown body makeup (she did show a fair bit of skin) and a bad afro wig. I could maybe see doing this as a minor role, as there aren't too many black actresses in Hong Kong, but as a major character?

The story was actually not as bad as many I've seen, but not great either. If they had stepped up the violence and/or nudity it would have made for a better movie. It deals with a reform school for cute asian girls, some of whom escape and seek vengeance on the nefarious Dr. Qua, who is sleeping his way to the top of the medical profession and caused one of the reform school girls' sister to commit suicide because of his affair with her and caused her mother the hospital directory to go into debt because of his affair with her (yes that's right, he had affairs with two women who are mother and daughter). That's pretty much as much sense as the movie really needs to make, and it's pretty much where it stopped making sense.

On a slightly hilarious end note, apparently the word for "END" in whatever language the subtitles were in translated to "SLUT".

Cold showers

2009-08-23T19:12:36Z

Water heater died. Cold showers suck.